At the age of eight, I had a profound encounter with „The Absolute“ (which today I call „God“) during a dreamless sleep, where there was no self and no sensory experiences. This encounter shook me deeply as it revealed an existence beyond duality. Despite knowing of my immortality and eternal life, I struggled with panic attacks and eventually turned away from God, becoming an atheist and nihilist. It wasn’t until twenty years later, amidst a profound existential crisis, that I embarked on a spiritual journey. Even then, I avoided the topic of God until a reclusive Satsang teacher prompted me to confront my suppressed experience. Her question, „And what about your experience beyond experience?“ startled me, revealing the ego’s fear of enlightenment. Realizing this, I developed deep empathy for those on spiritual paths who are unknowingly evading their true selves. I understand the fear of facing the „ultimate disappointment,“ a realization I had at the tender age of eight, seeing through the illusion of personal identity and the emptiness of all things.